Confessions of a Tired Teacher, back by popular demand.
We all get annoyed by things; sometimes they are valid, sometimes ridiculous. Choosing to vocalise them could lead to nods of agreement from those listening OR you being shunned and in some cases…feared!
Writing them in a blog post, however, is therapeutic….well, that’s what I’m telling myself.
Let’s crack on with this months whimsy.
1. Students who get to school before you do. I’m not ready to speak to students when I first get to school. I need at least one more cup of coffee before I can find my energetic facade. “Hello sir” yelled at me as I make the daily trudge from the car to the classroom makes me consider a career as a serial killer (and being a science teacher, I know how to get rid of the evidence!). I’m not the only one right? (Please!)
2. Teachers who put career progression before the needs of the students. We all know at least one, don’t we? Introducing new ideas and strategies just because they need their name on more things to shove in the face of school leaders. They seem to forget the fact that their primary responsibility is to the students, not how brown their nose can get.
3. People who put dog poop bags on trees. WHY!!! There is no branch (excuse the pun) of fairies that deal specifically with dog poop collection.
If you take the time to pick it up then take it home or put it in a bin. I don’t get the thought process; “I’ve picked up the poop, I’ll just pop it on this tree so everyone can see how great I am”. Its poop…not a freshly baked loaf, a work of art or a trophy. Leaving it hanging on a tree in a plastic bag is WORSE for the environment than leaving it on the floor in the first place.
4. Autumn/Fall is the worst season. If you disagree, you’re wrong!
A. “Oooh, look at the beautiful colours on the trees”. No, it’s a sign that summer (the best season..FACT) is at an end and everything is dying!
B. Halloween. I don’t eat candy and I’ll have to spend way too much cash on outfits for my children that invariably never get worn a second time.
C. Cosy sweaters… Having to wear more clothes is a sign it’s getting colder..this is not fun!
At least winter is honest. If winter could talk it would say something like “It’s going to be cold, wet and dark for the next few months, I don’t bloody like it either, but here we are, let’s just get through it together”. Autumn, however, is full of deceit, trying to masquerade itself as a great friend who is nice to your face lies about you behind your back.
5. I’m a short man (5’4” or 162cm). I have no problem being short (I’m good at it!) but when students say “Sir, I’m taller than you” it annoys me. I feel like saying “congratulations, you’re eyes work and are sending messages to your brain which are interpreted correctly”, they may as well say “Sir, I’m not blind”.
It’s much more impressive to be shorter than me, or indeed, really tall. It’s us at the extremes that are the impressive ones, not you regular sized common folk!
6. You know those pictures you put your head in to have your photo taken (I don’t think they have an actual name), you find them on piers and at funfairs. Yes them. I don’t dislike them, but what annoys me is when people put their heads in and their head doesn’t fit perfectly in the hole.
Especially when children do it (don’t get me started on when they put their hands through the hole too (fingers don’t come out of your neck you mentalist)). I get that this is probably my issue alone, a bit like the forks all pointing the same way in the cutlery drawer from last month!
7. Younger students who just come and silently stand too close to you on lunch duty.
A. Get out of my bubble, if I choose to spin around with extended arms you’re going to get hurt.
B. Say something! Standing there in silence is frankly just creepy.
I think I’ve shared enough, now it’s your turn to confess. Drop your silly or not so silly confessions in the comment box below.
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